Unspoken Words

New Story

2012-02-02T23:49:00.002+05:30

Lets tell a story
Neither your nor mine
Just a story

2011-07-05T01:08:00.000+05:30

इन बादलों से कहना आज बिन बरसे ही लौट जायें
मेरी ताड़ की छत अभी सूखी नहीं है

Hope

2011-06-23T20:23:00.001+05:30

The dream was shattered again.
Like a withered leaf;
Crushed by an innocent passerby.

The canvas was empty again
Like a castle of sand;
Swept away by the sea waves.

But the eyes are ready again
To paint some new dreams
With the hues of hope and faith.

Unruffled Mind

2011-05-23T11:29:00.001+05:30

Amidst this deluge of thoughts,
there is an ephemeral silence.
the mind is unruffled
like a long-steady river,
waiting for the ripples to turn into waves

मैं

2011-04-18T23:28:00.003+05:30

आवाजों के समदर में सन्नाटे को खोजती मैं
रिश्तों के भंवर में तन्हाई को ढूँड़ती मैं
दरवाज़ों की ओड़ में छुपे चेहरों को निहारती मैं
चद लम्हों की यादों में सदियों को समेटती मैं

सपनों की उड़ान

2011-01-05T12:12:00.007+05:30

बंद दरवाज़ों की ओड़ में छुपी मुस्कुराहटें ,

नए चेहरों और नए रंगों में लिपटी खुशियाँ ,

झुकी पलकों और बंद आँखों में दबी चमक,

दबी जुबां और बंद होठों में सिमटी हंसी,

कुछ अनकहे , अनबुने सपनों की उड़ान

Dreams and Agreement

2010-10-29T21:05:00.002+05:30

In the guise of fulfilling their dreams and desires,

I turned a blind eye to my own dreams,

knowing well, that my eyes will never stop dreaming.

In the guise of the agreement to which I agreed reluctantly,

I untangled the lone attached cord

knowing well, that it was all beyond the purview of

attachments and detachments.

कुछ नए कुछ पुराने

2010-10-20T22:52:00.004+05:30

चंद बिखरे सपनो की खनक, कुछ अधूरी कहानियों के साये

यही तो राह दिखायेंगे नए सपनो की ओर

यही तो देंगे अधूरी कहानियों को नए मोड़

बस यही तो है ज़िन्दगी

2010-10-19T06:39:00.004+05:30

नित नयी कहानियाँ , अनबुने अधूरे से सपने

हर पल उडीकती दिशायें, अनजानी, अनदेखी सी राहें

रात का अँधेरा और पल पल ठहरता सन्नाटा

पक्षियों की चेहचाहट, लालिमा से रोशन होता अम्बर

बारिश की चन्द बूँदें, उभरती फिर नयी आशाएं, बनती फिर नयी कहानियाँ

बस यही तो है ज़िन्दगी

Journey of life

2010-09-16T10:29:00.005+05:30

Journeys have never evoked a feeling of dread in me.

But this time the idea of being abandoned in an unfamiliar world is the central fear I am trying to deal with;

As I know for sure that I will not travel alone rather my entire way of life will accompany me and I fear that it may have troubles fitting into the prevailing spaces I'll be offered.

(P.S. These days I am reading the book called “my pious lady’ by Santosh Desai. The book is a story about changing middle class urban India. In one of the chapters the author has mentioned about traveling and Indian journeys. Though the words written in the above piece are more or less similar to what Desai has written but I have changed the context by making it my own story)

The Burried Words

2010-08-10T20:38:00.005+05:30

My words were lying buried

underneath the burden of stolidity.

I never tried to rouse them

Nor did I forget them.

But in that sudden moment

They erupted, as if released from a lifelong confinement.

And also relieved me of that heavy silence

that was floating around me.

Secret stories

2010-07-13T21:38:00.001+05:30

When I longed to hear your untold stories,

You preferred to maintain silence.

And when life unfolded its secrets

I had no other choice but to remain silent.

रिश्ते

2010-06-22T16:05:00.002+05:30

गुलज़ार साहिब ने कहा है 'हाथ छूटे भी तो रिश्ते नहीं छूटा करते'.
पर उन रिश्तों का क्या जो हाथ थामने से पहले ही छूट जाते हैं ?
उनका क्या जहाँ थामे हाथ बेड़ियों से प्रतीत होते हैं?
और शायद कुछ रिश्ते ऐसे भी होते हैं जो कभी हाथों के मोहताज नहीं होते.

Sharing

2010-06-15T10:17:00.001+05:30

There is no dearth of those who can give us a listening ear,

It is just that we need to be ready to share with them.

Yesterday I discovered two of them, ‘myself’ and my ‘laptop’.

Sharing helps a lot.

......थमी है ज़िन्दगी

2010-06-15T02:28:00.005+05:30

यूं बन्जर मरुस्थल सी थमी है ज़िन्दगी

न कोई राह नज़र आती, न किसी मंजिल का निशाँ

न इस अन्धकार से है प्यार, न उस उजाले का इंतज़ार

न पतझड़ की पीड़ा है सताती, न सावन की फुहारें ही सुहाती

बेटुक, मौन, बस आसमान को ताकती ये ज़िन्दगी.

यूं बन्जर मरुस्थल सी थमी है ज़िन्दगी........बस थमी है ज़िन्दगी

So I know now

2010-06-11T13:57:00.004+05:30

The wind is still hot here
But I know now,
No soothing breeze can sweep me off to another world.

The moonlit rainy night

2010-06-09T23:04:00.001+05:30

What a night it was,
The rain came at a time
when I started enjoying my walk under the moonlit sky,
and before I could express my desire to get drenched ceaselessly,
the moon brought me back to reality.
Back to my own stories, to my own world.

वो शब्द और वो लम्हे

2010-06-09T11:24:00.000+05:30

हर शब्द को अपना बना कर संजोया था मैंने
हर लम्हे को सपना बना कर पिरोया था मैंने.
मोतियों की माला यों टूट कर बिखरी
न कोई सपना रहा और न ही कोई अपना

Another story

2010-04-30T20:52:00.003+05:30

small pond,
frog's eyes moving with clouds
another story

Ego

2010-04-28T17:50:00.002+05:30

Those harsh words
came in a soothing tone.
You noticed my ego

Insecurity

2010-04-28T17:47:00.000+05:30

Read some name
marked in the list,
Insecurity leads to guilt

Listen........

2010-04-28T10:30:00.000+05:30

When I will have nothing to talk about,
and no stories to share,
Will you be ready to listen to the silence.

Here I am

2010-04-14T17:24:00.006+05:30

I am running away as
I am scared to share my words with you.
I am afraid to tell that I always longed for those listening ears.

I am running away as
I am scared of turning the fond memories into blots and scars.
I am afraid I still think of the bygone days.

I am running away as
I am scared to answer the thousand inquisitive eyes.
I am afraid I still want your pretense to remain invisible.

I am running away as
I am scared to spell out the long persisting anguish.
I am afraid I still don’t want to shatter your ego.

So here I am,

Moving away in search of a place
Where there won’t be any space for my fears
I will no more be running away and
My words will no long halt at the tip of my tongue.

The Inconvinient wall

2010-04-05T23:01:00.003+05:30

Thus it was named as the inconvenient wall.
The wall of my ‘discomforts’ and your ‘desires,’
My ‘own meanings’ and your ‘perceptions’
My ‘conditions’ and your ‘conditioning’.
I wonder if it is truly a wall or
The sole search for our own spaces.

Love and Eternity

2010-03-26T22:31:00.001+05:30

Tree asked the little bird to go to sleep
As it feared that the bird might fly away...
never to come back again.
But the little bird said,
‘My dear tree, forget sleep, I won’t even close my eyes,
for I can’t afford to lose sight of you...
not even for fraction of a second.’

Again in the Silence

2010-03-12T18:02:00.002+05:30

Again in the silence,
I am looking for solitude,
And what are you looking for?
I am sure you are waiting for the truth to be uttered,
The truth behind long persisting silence.

The Magical Abyss

2010-02-25T00:04:00.001+05:30

It was like falling in an abyss.
All efforts to come out were going in vain.
There was silence all around but no solitude.
Finally when I came out, it was as if i had the wings
of a bird freed from a cage.
I started flying in the noices around me,
but within me there was a stillness
and it taught me the nuances of silence.

Your Questions and My Answers

2010-02-24T23:09:00.006+05:30

Do not simply look from outside,
Go deep within yourself.
There you will get all the answers.
Unlearn every learning,
As your own answers to
The unasked questions are nothing
But the doors seperating you
from the rest of the world

Precious moments

2010-02-24T23:05:00.002+05:30

Those were the precious moments,
There was no me or you
Just the silence

An Eternal Story

2010-01-14T15:34:00.001+05:30

This is how the story began,
I asked you, ‘should I be afraid of standing still’?
But you made me realize about the stagnation,
That I had assumed to be the serenity of stillness.
I further asked you, ‘am I destined to remain in the same manner’?
You told me, ‘everything is in your own hands and you can write your own destiny
either by crawling or by flying’.
When I shared about the invisible shadows and shackles,
You said ‘to be bound by those shackles and scared of those shadows
was a matter of choice that you had made’.
I then requested you to keep knocking at my door,
And you assured me of a continuous and eternal knocking,
So that I could open the doors for myself.
Now this story doesn’t seem to have an end,
For it has become an ‘eternal’ one, with no beginning and no end.

Being in the silence

2009-12-21T00:39:00.001+05:30

What did you hear in the silence?
Sound of the withering leaves or chilling breeze.
I missed to hear the thunder, for I was listening to the conversation between river and the rain.
I am sure you didn’t miss the symphony of the silence.

We captured the moment

2009-12-02T23:29:00.001+05:30

You were there, far away,
Yet we saw it together
The full moon

I am an admirer

2009-11-16T19:59:00.001+05:30

I adore her patience,
I admire her endurance.
But I dread the day when she’ll lose her calm
Will that be the doomsday?

The Door and Us

2009-10-30T12:35:00.002+05:30

Often I sit at the doorsteps,
In the hope to find the door open.

You are always prompt in opening the door,
But only when I knock at it.

I wonder,
If it is you who keeps waiting for me to knock
Or is it me who is maintaining the distance with the existence of an illusory door

दीपावली

2009-10-14T21:35:00.000+05:30

जगमगाती रौशनी में दीप मन के जग उठे
उज्जवल निशा की रागिनी बन गीत गुन्गुन्नाने लगे
अब न अंधियारे का भय हो और न सन्नाटे का डर
रुकना नहीं मुड़ना नहीं चलती चलूँ ऐसी डगर

Celebrating the smile

2009-10-09T02:04:00.000+05:30

Life is nothing but a celebration of smiles,
it is just that we choose differently
and different smiles to have our own celebrations.

The Same Rain

2009-10-04T20:26:00.001+05:30

The early morning drizzling brought
a relief to the parching soul
after a few hot and humid days.
And so, I longed to see the downpour, the incessant one.
With a cup of tea in my hands, as I glanced through
the cover page of the newspaper, the news
read ‘the incessant rain continued to take a heavy toll in Southern parts of India’.
With a little discontentment, I kept staring at the droplets,
And I wondered if it was the same rain that was creating havoc in the other parts of my land.

The messed up mind

2009-09-30T22:13:00.001+05:30

After a long silence in the unknown sounds and voices,
There is a storm, a deluge again.
Back here, my desk is piled up with scattered sheets and layers of dust
And so is my mind messed up with thoughts.
The strains of some chords entangled in the past,
And the struggle to move from future to the present,
Not sure how long will it continue.
I should now look out for some solace in the noises and piles around me.

Another journey

2009-09-01T06:07:00.002+05:30

Amidst a storm of buzzing thoughts,
From within the fluttering leaves,
I see the rays of dawn,
A strange silence descends on me.
In that silent zone I hear a chirping bird.
A new dawn has come again,
and I am on for another year long journey

उड़ान

2009-08-29T16:34:00.003+05:30

एक ठहराव सा है ये एहसास न था,
एक आस्मां भी है ये विश्वास न था।

आंख उठाकर गर देख जो मैं पाती,
तो पंछी सी उड़ान भर क्षितिज को छू आती

Being with Myself

2009-08-29T14:45:00.000+05:30

Am I a little too demanding,

if

I ask to enjoy my aloneness,
I want to be with myself
I need to talk to myself,
I wish to hear my own voice,
I feel like looking into my mirror
I want to stand near my window
I want to walk alone in the garden
I wish to discover my own self.

Tell me, if
I shouldn’t be doing any of these.

Tell me, if
I shouldn’t be asking for any of these.

Wait and Watch

2009-08-29T11:30:00.002+05:30

Wait, and Watch

Watch, and Wait

Wait and Watch
Watch and Wait

Tick- Tick
Tick- Tick

Time moves on ……
and life goes on …...

गुज़रे लम्हे

2009-08-28T20:25:00.002+05:30

भूल जाने की चाहत तो हर दम है मगर, दिले नादान को भूलना आता नहीं।

वक्त की स्याही से सब मिट जाता है मगर, गुज़रे लम्हों का एहसास दिल से जाता नहीं।

शायरी

2009-08-27T14:05:00.005+05:30

बिन बुलाये बे वक़्त आ जाना ही है आंसुओं का काम

हर लम्हे को जी जाना और हर अश्क को पी जाना ही है ज़िन्दगी का नाम

Her Voice

2009-08-26T22:55:00.005+05:30

This morning I heard my mother calling me,
I opened my eyes and realized there was no one,
it seemed she had just left after whispering her golden words.

There was the fragrance of wet soil ,
With the signs of a distant rain I felt
as if a few droplets had fallen on my land

2009-08-18T10:57:00.002+05:30

A little girl while walking in a moving train
raised her hand towards an unknown lady
not that she was hopeful of getting the support
but was sure she would get it.

The Lost Letter

2009-07-29T00:16:00.002+05:30

The letter I had written to my friend, long back, seem to be lost in the way

in the wilderness and its serenity.

Let it be where it is,

For I believe it will reach its destination some day.

If not the one which I had written with my hands,

May be the one which it would have decided on its way.

My Unknown World

2009-07-22T11:23:00.001+05:30

That was my ‘Unknown World’

It started as storm but ended in a soothing breeze

It was pouring, it was drizzling, but every single droplet touched my core

I had no fears, nor was I skeptical anymore

I was not weary of inquisitive eyes; no more had I any feeling of running away.

There were no belongings to be lost and no roads leading to any crossroads

Though away from the secure womb, I still felt its warmth and coziness

You may call it ‘mad’ but I felt that the ‘Unknown’ was known to me for ages.

Mirage

2009-07-07T16:34:00.002+05:30

Like a sand particle

I never wait for a storm to uproot me,

For, a soothing breeze can sweep me off to another world.

I have no craving for drizzles and downpours,

A single droplet is enough to give the warmth of being with my land

Lull and serenity make no difference to me

For, I belong to the desert,

I can only think of a mirage.

Two questions

2009-07-01T09:52:00.003+05:30

My mind was boggled to hear the two questions I was asked yesterday.

‘Who are you? ’ and ‘where will you be five years down the line?’

Is that so easy to know and explain who you are? No clue..

Is life so very predictable that one can easily know where s/he would be after five years? Are we actually suppose to plan so much in advance?

The Distance

2009-06-21T18:38:00.002+05:30

Shivering, on a scorching hot day, I was sitting in the AC coach of my train,

Covering myself with a blanket and simply waiting for cups of tea, my ultimate respite.

Far off from the maddening crowd of cities, the train halted near a forest.

I saw outside my window, a couple, sweating and toiling hard in the sun

The lady took water from her bottle, I know naught if it was hot or cold
But her eyes were evident that the thirst was quenched.

Though they were very near to me, but the distance between us was enormous.

I was looking for some shield to block the ingress of the chilling air

And they were relying on a white cloth to impede the sultry waves.

Oblivious of my existence, they were gazing at my coach

While I was envisaging the distant dreams of those brimming eyes.

As the train gained momentum, the eyes also moved on till the train and the couple were out of vision

Eternity

2009-06-20T10:45:00.001+05:30

My skepticism for the eternity of the word ‘eternal’,

May be it’s a mere perception, or for that matter a repercussion.

Eternal assurance, eternal promise, eternal invitation,

I have only discovered hollowness and futility to hear these

For I’ve witnessed the culmination, beginning leading to an end

Everything dwindling and disappearing in the air

Never ever to be uttered or to happen again

A feeling of eternity that was just momentary

At the Crossroads Again

2009-06-19T12:53:00.002+05:30

I found myself standing at the crossroads.

Yesterday I was delighted to have picked up all the marbles that I left behind long back.

But today I was only left with the latest ones.

When I looked inside the stole I found them still struggling to settle down.

I never realize when did the marbles lying in my stole slipped away.

Owning hardly any of the marbles, now I wonder how would these have felt after being overlooked.

The art of keeping the ‘possessions safely’ isn’t an easy task it seems.

The staring eyes

2009-06-13T18:27:00.002+05:30

I could only offer an artificial smile to the eyes staring at me,
Not for any offence but simply for what I wore on an occasion.

I was clean bold when another bouncer came from inquisitive eyes looking for an attire that would have drawn the attention of many.

My words just halted at the tip of my tongue, ‘what if I say I was least bothered to see any such thing’?

That reminded me of my father’s mantra, ‘You need to be presentable wherever you go’.

But I am yet to know which eyes to be followed,

The ones which may simply ignore me when I feel to be at the cloud nine

Or the ones that might praise me at a time when my own eyes might inquire …… who are you?

Kerala Public School Mango

2009-06-12T00:06:00.002+05:30

I often feel that every place I visit, across India, has some story to tell, stories that are woven in the unique characteristics of that place or in the form of amicable people. Last week when I was visiting the ‘Tata City- Jamshedpur’, (for a training programme) I was quite excited as people especially my colleagues had loads of things to say in praise of the city. The moment I entered the city I was amazed with the scenic beauty and serenity. Clean roads surrounded by lush green trees, mountains, and nicely designed houses. All this made feel a little homesick as I have also been born and brought up in a similar township where everything is either controlled by the organizational authorities or the residents themselves.

Once we (me along with the driver) reached the outskirts of the township (I would prefer to call that a township than a city), I saw three signages, left towards the Jublee park, right going towards the zoo and straight one leading to ‘Mango’. Now that was something that diverted my attention from looking at the nice view to think about this name? I spend some time guessing and drew a conclusion that this would either be an amusement park or a resort. While I was busy guessing, I didn’t realize that I was almost out of that nice and peaceful township and entered a place which looked like any other ‘typical north Indian city’ with crowded roads, uneven structures, shops and buildings with dangling cob webs and dark colours as if had been white washed once in the life time and that too decades ago. I wasn’t surprised to see that, as I knew that though the city is known as ‘Tata Nagar’ however, the Tata’s are not responsible for the development of the areas outside their periphery.

On my way to the training venue, which was some 12 km away from the main township, I happened to read this peculiar thing ‘Kerala Public School Mango’. It became then difficult for me to resist myself and I finally asked driver about this place or whatever… called ‘Mango’. He responded as if I had asked him about something unusual. To make myself clear I told him that I read ‘Kerala Public School Mango’, and was keen to know if Mango was the name of the place. He looked at me from the mirror and could barely hide his laughter. With a smiling face he replied ‘Madam are you talking about ‘Maan-Go’? For a fraction of second I thought, did I read it correctly? I didn’t tell him that I was always trained to read this word as Mango not ‘Maan-Go’. I also smiled and nodded as if I had completely understood what he said. He again looked at me and both of us laughed. I then told him that it wasn’t just this word ‘MANGO’ but this idea of Kerala Public school in Jamshedpur was also something drew my attention.

The driver then took charge of enhancing my knowledge and started telling me about various groups that have been formed in Jamshedpur such as ‘The Kerala Sangam, ‘The Tamil Union’ and groups of people from most of the states of India. He added that many of these groups even have separate schools, such as the Kerala Public School. Besides these groups also organize cultural activities and celebrate their festivals. When I looked outside, I saw a temple by the ‘Venkteshwara’ group and another signage directing towards some Tamil association.

Though I could not get to see the city much, as after the completion of my training I had to immediately leave for Delhi, still I felt that one could get a glimpse of whole India in that small city. May be this is what is called ‘Unity in Diversity’.

Thanks to the person who transliterated the word ‘Maan-Go’, otherwise I wouldn’t have got to know about these hidden realities of the place, an abode for people from across the country.

Nothing belongs to me

2009-06-10T00:43:00.001+05:30

The bed will be owned by someone else who will reside here once I leave, it doesn’t belong me.

Everyone is allowed to use the pair of table and chair, so there arises no question of ownership.

The elmirah in the room had always been a part of the wall, so how can I own it.

Half of books in the rack are gifted by friends and the rest I would gift to friends, none of these are mine.

I don’t even remember which of the utensils my aunt gave me when I left her place, and which ones belong to my friends here.

The office chair keeps changing every day. I many a times tried to put a tag, but never succeeded. The chairs are intelligent enough to know that they only belong to the office.

The computer has been a real mess. Every now and then, new keyboard, new monitor, new battery, new CPU, none of these ever belonged to the poor machine, so let alone their belongingness with me.

So what is it that is holding me back?

Is it the fear of losing these belongings or the resistance to be attached to the unseen and the unknown?

The Lamp

2009-06-09T00:59:00.004+05:30

My friend wanted to lit the lamp to curtail the darkness surrounding me but I moved away for I was scared of the heat of the lamp ....

Still in the womb

2009-06-03T23:51:00.003+05:30

Still in the womb, I struggle
Tossing, toiling to come out.
Still in the warmth, the coziness
Secure in the womb.
To come out wouldn't be a birth -
It would be rather a resurrection.
The pain of labour do not bother me,
Though I wonder how to
And who would cut the umbilical cords.
For I have to pass through the process
Of detachment
Countless, countless times.
Once I am through, I hope,
I will crawl, I will stand,
I will walk, I will run -
I will grow wings and fly away.

Walking down the lonely road

2009-06-03T22:53:00.000+05:30

Walking down the lonely road there was a feeling of melancholy

There wasn’t anyone who could listen to my words

And no one either to share his words with me

This feeling of loneliness persisted till I heard a voice that came from within me

It said, ‘my dear let’s hear each others’ words’

You share yours with me and let me tell my stories to you

And if we do not listen to each other

The road would hear our words for sure….

For the road would always be with us ‘anywhere and everywhere’.