My words were lying buried
underneath the burden of stolidity.
I never tried to rouse them
Nor did I forget them.
But in that sudden moment
They erupted, as if released from a lifelong confinement.
And also relieved me of that heavy silence
that was floating around me.
7 comments:
what was the 'sudden movement'?
volcano . . .
8 lines said it so much .. Yes it often happens , in a spur of a moment , sometimes layers of secrets thats burried deep inside erupt all of a sudden ..
Again the sweet influence of the gazal. There is the simplicity of the uncomplicated mind here and yet, i feel, you can give it another dimension if you subtly say what 'that moment' is. Feelings withheld bursting forth and bringing sudden relief--that moment when the busting happens is the key and on it hinges all things before and after, all the emotion in the poem...
Think about it, Kalpana. I don't know whether i have been able to convey what i wanted to convey. Good poem in spite of my feeling there is a more surcharged level to which it should soar.
What did the change??
Nicely said :)
some words, at some point, makes a whole new story. good one
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