Dreams and Agreement

In the guise of fulfilling their dreams and desires,

I turned a blind eye to my own dreams,

knowing well, that my eyes will never stop dreaming.


In the guise of the agreement to which I agreed reluctantly,

I untangled the lone attached cord

knowing well, that it was all beyond the purview of

attachments and detachments.

कुछ नए कुछ पुराने

चंद बिखरे सपनो  की खनक, कुछ अधूरी कहानियों के साये

यही तो राह दिखायेंगे नए सपनो की ओर

यही तो देंगे अधूरी कहानियों को नए मोड़

बस यही तो है ज़िन्दगी

नित नयी कहानियाँ , अनबुने  अधूरे से सपने

हर  पल  उडीकती  दिशायें, अनजानी, अनदेखी  सी राहें  

रात  का  अँधेरा  और  पल  पल ठहरता सन्नाटा

पक्षियों  की चेहचाहट, लालिमा  से  रोशन  होता  अम्बर

बारिश  की   चन्द  बूँदें, उभरती  फिर  नयी  आशाएं, बनती फिर  नयी  कहानियाँ

बस यही  तो  है  ज़िन्दगी

Journey of life

Journeys have never evoked a feeling of dread in me.

But this time the idea of being abandoned in an unfamiliar world is the central fear I am trying to deal with;

As I know for sure that I will not travel alone rather my entire way of life will accompany me and I fear that it may have troubles fitting into the prevailing spaces I'll be offered.


(P.S. These days I am reading the book called “my pious lady’ by Santosh Desai. The book is a story about changing middle class urban India. In one of the chapters the author has mentioned about traveling and Indian journeys. Though the words written in the above piece are more or less similar to what Desai has written but I have changed the context by making it my own story)

The Burried Words

My words were lying buried

underneath the burden of stolidity.

I never tried to rouse them

Nor did I forget them.

But in that sudden moment

They erupted, as if released from a lifelong confinement.

And also relieved me of that heavy silence

that was floating around me.

Secret stories

When I longed to hear your untold stories,

You preferred to maintain silence.

And when life unfolded its secrets

I had no other choice but to remain silent.

रिश्ते

गुलज़ार साहिब ने कहा है 'हाथ छूटे भी तो रिश्ते नहीं छूटा करते'.
पर उन रिश्तों का क्या जो हाथ थामने से पहले ही छूट जाते हैं ?
उनका क्या जहाँ थामे हाथ बेड़ियों से प्रतीत होते हैं?
और शायद कुछ  रिश्ते ऐसे भी होते हैं जो कभी हाथों के मोहताज नहीं होते.

Sharing

There is no dearth of those who can give us a listening ear,

It is just that we need to be ready to share with them.

Yesterday I discovered two of them, ‘myself’ and my ‘laptop’.

Sharing helps a lot.

......थमी है ज़िन्दगी

यूं बन्जर मरुस्थल सी थमी है ज़िन्दगी


न कोई राह नज़र आती, न किसी मंजिल का निशाँ

न इस अन्धकार से है प्यार, न उस उजाले का इंतज़ार

न पतझड़ की पीड़ा है सताती, न सावन की फुहारें ही सुहाती

बेटुक, मौन, बस आसमान को ताकती ये ज़िन्दगी.

यूं बन्जर मरुस्थल सी थमी है ज़िन्दगी........बस थमी है ज़िन्दगी

So I know now

The wind is still hot here
But I know now,
No soothing breeze can sweep me off to another world.

The moonlit rainy night

What a night it was,
The rain came at a time
when I started enjoying my walk under the moonlit sky,
and before I could express my desire to get drenched ceaselessly,
the moon brought me back to reality.
Back to my own stories, to my own world.

वो शब्द और वो लम्हे

हर शब्द को अपना बना कर संजोया था मैंने
हर लम्हे को सपना बना कर पिरोया था मैंने.
मोतियों की माला यों टूट कर बिखरी
न कोई सपना रहा और न ही कोई अपना  

Another story

small pond,
frog's eyes moving with clouds
another story

Ego

Those harsh words
came in a soothing tone.
You noticed my ego

Insecurity

Read some name
marked in the list,
Insecurity leads to guilt

Listen........

When I will have nothing to talk about,
and no stories to share,
Will you be ready to listen to the silence.

Here I am

I am running away as
I am scared to share my words with you.
I am afraid to tell that I always longed for those listening ears.

I am running away as
I am scared of turning the fond memories into blots and scars.
I am afraid I still think of the bygone days.

I am running away as
I am scared to answer the thousand inquisitive eyes.
I am afraid I still want your pretense to remain invisible.

I am running away as
I am scared to spell out the long persisting anguish.
I am afraid I still don’t want to shatter your ego.

So here I am,

Moving away in search of a place
Where there won’t be any space for my fears
I will no more be running away and
My words will no long halt at the tip of my tongue.

The Inconvinient wall

Thus it was named as the inconvenient wall.
The wall of my ‘discomforts’ and your ‘desires,’
My ‘own meanings’ and your ‘perceptions’
My ‘conditions’ and your ‘conditioning’.
I wonder if it is truly a wall or
The sole search for our own spaces.

Love and Eternity

Tree asked the little bird to go to sleep
As it feared that the bird might fly away...
never to come back again.
But the little bird said,
‘My dear tree, forget sleep, I won’t even close my eyes,
for I can’t afford to lose sight of you...
not even for fraction of a second.’

Again in the Silence

Again in the silence,
I am looking for solitude,
And what are you looking for?
I am sure you are waiting for the truth to be uttered,
The truth behind long persisting silence.

The Magical Abyss

It was like falling in an abyss.
All efforts to come out were going in vain.
There was silence all around but no solitude.
Finally when I came out, it was as if i had the wings
of a bird freed from a cage.
I started flying in the noices around me,
but within me there was a stillness
and it taught me the nuances of silence.

Your Questions and My Answers

Do not simply look from outside,
Go deep within yourself.
There you will get all the answers.
Unlearn every learning,
As your own answers to
The unasked questions are nothing
But the doors seperating you
from the rest of the world

Precious moments

Those were the precious moments,
There was no me or you
Just the silence

An Eternal Story

This is how the story began,
I asked you, ‘should I be afraid of standing still’?
But you made me realize about the stagnation,
That I had assumed to be the serenity of stillness.
I further asked you, ‘am I destined to remain in the same manner’?
You told me, ‘everything is in your own hands and you can write your own destiny
either by crawling or by flying’.
When I shared about the invisible shadows and shackles,
You said ‘to be bound by those shackles and scared of those shadows
was a matter of choice that you had made’.
I then requested you to keep knocking at my door,
And you assured me of a continuous and eternal knocking,
So that I could open the doors for myself.
Now this story doesn’t seem to have an end,
For it has become an ‘eternal’ one, with no beginning and no end.