Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Distance

Shivering, on a scorching hot day, I was sitting in the AC coach of my train,

Covering myself with a blanket and simply waiting for cups of tea, my ultimate respite.

Far off from the maddening crowd of cities, the train halted near a forest.

I saw outside my window, a couple, sweating and toiling hard in the sun

The lady took water from her bottle, I know naught if it was hot or cold
But her eyes were evident that the thirst was quenched.

Though they were very near to me, but the distance between us was enormous.

I was looking for some shield to block the ingress of the chilling air

And they were relying on a white cloth to impede the sultry waves.

Oblivious of my existence, they were gazing at my coach

While I was envisaging the distant dreams of those brimming eyes.

As the train gained momentum, the eyes also moved on till the train and the couple were out of vision

12 comments:

ஸ்வரூப் said...

they would have not seen you at all... you were already shielded inside dark glass... and the distance is still unbridged...

sujata said...

lovely thoughts and very well expressed!! certain distances are never bridged

Balachandran V said...

I do not want to comment on the theme, which is, though common enough, you have with your words drawn an image that will remain in the minds of the readers. However, I would suggest you to make the lines more taut and terse. Tighten it up, K, observe and express with the seeming chill of the AC in your heart. The more cold your words, the more warmth the reader would feel.

Anonymous said...

u got power to play with words
but direction???
u really need direction
why are u here in this world
to sit in AC comp and comment on people trying to see u????

no definitely not


think before u answer

one more thing
people who say u r on ur way
are wrong
very wrong
THE WAY is a difficult word

Imagination said...

@Anonymous:They were not trying to see me rather it was me who was looking at them....The people who feel I am already on the way have their own perception and if you feel they are wrong and I am still directionless ...its your opinion. Thanks a lot for your comment but why a hidden identity :-)

Imagination said...

ஸ்வரூப்: Yes the distance is still unbridged......this may help me to think and make efforts towards bridging some distances:-)... I liked your comment

Imagination said...

Balaji thanks a lot for being my mentor and critique

Sujata thanks for an encouraging comment

prithvi said...

There is an invisible thread which connects such incidents. I myself have been on both sides of the coin, while in the coach I think of the warmth outside and while outside on the platform I think of the chilly ice cold condition. Both give me comfort in an uncertain way, well written............

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Hmmmm, after your visit i had to pay a visit.

After reading this post, i am glad i visited.

This is not one time , when we fall into the shoes of this people or your own. It happens often that we loose the count.

I really donno why does it happens, but it merely happens to teach us something or to let us realize the comfort of your own situation or the uncomfortableness of them.

Good piece of read.

Keep writing :-)
Cheers

still thinking !!! said...

I love your eyes....I told yea. I love the way you look at things.
You write jazz /beat poems and I love it.
The best thing is that you feel poems.
You could feel the distance between you and them

We have a lot of things in common I guess...
When I read this “I was envisaging the distant dreams of those brimming eyes"
I remembered that

I do try to guess those hazy dreams in those mazy eyes,
When I see those children barefoot on roads,
Selling balloons, beauty magazines.
For the glossy ones

Charu said...

Very interesting... but after being in this profession for so long, i can't stop myself from finding mistakes ;) it should be not and not naught... keep it up

கவின் said...

you are having a great future in lecturing.